That one word can evoke the greatest range of emotions amongst everyone, young and old; a range which grows exponentially if you have a child that cannot be neatly pigeon-holed, whose strengths and/or weaknesses stick out of the proverbial box.
For some, the box's name changes from mainstream to remedial and there is finally a space that holds those strengths and weaknesses in a neat fit.
In some instances, however, neither box works for the ADHD child who is too disruptive for the mainstream but not challenged enough in the remedial environment. While it may seem the choice must be made on the lesser of two evils, this is not the case. There is still the option to homeschool or go to a cottage school/small school/boutique school/learning centre/homeschool away from home (for existing homeschoolers, I know this is not a technically correct term).
The saturation shock news coverage of the nearly 100 people killed in Norway by a lone gunman was interrupted to announce that a giant musical talent had died in Camden England. Amy Winehouse died without anyone watching over her.
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My ADHD Coaching Journey is a blog post series where I am going to take you through a process I started in 2006 when I was diagnosed with ADHD. I had finally decided I no longer wanted to continue livining as I was.
It is not a tell-all pity party but I am not going to sugar coat it either.
My aim is to help those who live with or alongside ADHD to better understand why we do some of the things we do which are frequently incomprehensible to others.
ADHD Coaching differs from both therapy and other forms of Life, Business and Executive Coaching. There are naturally areas where the different forms of Coaching overlap and it is also therapeutic to get the monsters out of our minds as we learn to take control of our lives.
For those hoping there is a quick fix to managing ADHD I am sorry to disillusion you. The older you are, the more bad habits you have learned, the more you have been hurt, the more you have hurt others, the more you have failed.
You have no doubt also had numerous successes but these are frequently lost in your misery pit of self pity.
To me the process has been like peeling an onion. Layer after layer I learned to expose myself emotionally and intellectually, initially denying that anything could be my fault, then crying buckets about my past mistakes and failures as it seems like everything is my fault until I was completely drained.
Slowly I started to get perspective about my past and my present and have been able to finally set goals for a future where I am becoming the person I was born to be.
Susan Boyle's beautiful song "Who I Was Born To Be" has resonated with me and here are the words which have helped inspire me to keep going.
When I was a child
I could see the wind in the trees
And I heard a song in the breeze
It was there, singing out my name
But I am not a girl
I have known the taste of defeat
And I've finally grown to believe
It will all come around again
And so here am I
Open arms and ready to stand
I've got the world in my hands
And it feels like my turn to fly
When I was a child
There were flowers that bloomed in the night
Unafraid to take in the light
Unashamed to have braved the dark
Though I may not know the answers
I can finally say I am free
And if the questions led me here
Then I am who I was born to be
I am who I was born to be
As with anything in life you never the reach the end, perfection is a myth and there is always a new challenge around the corner ready to smack you down just as you start to get comfortable. The trick is to learn to never give up, but to use the experience as a lesson and grow a bit stronger.
The first step in my ADHD Coaching journey started with a decision. I was either going to leap off Table Mountain or I had to change.
Yes, we often have to hit rock bottom before we take the decision and I am so glad that I did.
|Brief Background||Managing Expectations of Myself and Others|
|My Assessment and Diagnosis||Learning to listen better|
|Medication - denial and acceptance||Even if I can do anything it doesn't mean I should|
|Family doesn't always accept or understand||Dealing with money - an emotional issue|
|Analysis Paralysis||Our mind speak can destroy us|
|Who Am I, Who Do I Want To Be?||Tactile Issues|
|Learning to make decisions||Letting go of fear|
|Setting Goals||Asking questions and not being judgemental|
|Time Management||Life is not all about me|
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Question: My daughter is dating a young guy who I suspect is also ADHD... they are both weird!!!! You know what I mean.
Speak up! Be quiet!
Look at me when I speak to you!
That is not what I said! Don't lie!
How many of the above are common in your ADHD family or classroom?
Your child will never be labelled with a disorder like ADD or ADHD and he or she won’t use chronic medication … Labels are criminal acts." Fairlady magazine article February 2013 titled “Is Your Child So Stressed...”
.. Yes ADD/HD and Autism are conditions but I hate to box people & attach labels…” E-mail from someone who sells supplements.