How do you cope with your teenager turning your home into a dump?
There is a fine line between invading your teens privacy and you having to live with most of the family crockery and cutlery, all food encrusted, in their bedrooms along with weeks of dirty laundry and other unmentionables.
As ADHD parents and many who don't have ADHD we are frequently aware of our own inability to be tidy and organised so we:
The saturation shock news coverage of the nearly 100 people killed in Norway by a lone gunman was interrupted to announce that a giant musical talent had died in Camden England. Amy Winehouse died without anyone watching over her.
My granddaughter has been diagnosed as ADHD, THE SCHOOL IS INSITING ON HER TAKING RITALIN, we are dead against this, but the pressure is getting to my daughter. Please help!
We regularly receive variations on the above plea to help parents of ADHD children. Names and details have been changed, (but not the spelling or content), but I hope you will find the correspondence between me, the Mom and Gran helpful.
Writing this series of My ADHD Coaching Journey blogposts is giving me a much needed kick in the rear end.
I have dug out my old ADHD Coaching notes and re-looked at the goals I set for myself in 2006 and started to do an audit of of where I am now in April 2015. I also came across a Personal Profile Analsysis (PPA) done in 1998 when I was the Financial Director of our family owned business. This report played a significant role in my decision to start a new life as a single woman after 25 years marriage.
Yes, I have made massive changes but I have also slipped back into old habits and some behaviour that I have yet to master for the first time.
The key theme in the PPA was, and largely still is, my inability to deal with conflict, to be assertive and to set tough goals for myself. To avoid conflict I became a follower. Drifting along fitting in with others and following their dreams instead of creating my own.
Yes I was (and am) interested in everything but my passion has been limited to mastering the skills and moving on preferably on the coat tails of someone else.
Too scared to stand up and say this is me and this is what I want. Too scared to offend others. But I also realised I am afraid of success.
As with all change, mine has happened in fits and starts. I know that overall I have made great progress but it is time for me to take another leap forward.
Having ADHD I am interested in so many topics and two which are close to my heart are education and technology.
I am not an Educator and my children finished school many years ago but I have become increasingly fascinated by educational methods and the use of technology in schools.
Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn have fuelled this passion by enabling me to "eavesdrop" on group discussions and learn from experts worldwide who freely share their knowledge. For me this is true education. Sharing knowledge and encouraging our youth to broaden their minds and not be limited by school curriculums is what we should be aiming for.
One of the recent topics I eavesdropped on was the debate about using cell phones in the classroom.
Speak up! Be quiet!
Look at me when I speak to you!
That is not what I said! Don't lie!
How many of the above are common in your ADHD family or classroom?
A very dear friend who has ADHD burst into tears the other day while we were chatting. "Why do I fight with everybody? When I look back on my life, it has been filled with conflict", she wept.
Many ADDers can identify with her anguish. We destroy personal and work relationships with our volatile personalities. It is as though we deliberately go into a self destruct mode but don't know how to stop.
So why are we so volatile? My AHAA light bulb moment came during one of my Living ADDventure® ADHD Coaching sessions. At the core of the problem is my visual, movie making mind; a typical ADHD characteristic.
Somebody says or does something that our supersensitive souls do not like. It is quite possible that we may not have heard correctly or we don't understand the context; it becomes instantly personal! When our self esteem is low, everything becomes personal.
We make a snap judgement based on our own personal belief systems or some past experience and either impulsively explode or equally dangerous, brood and brood and brood.